Tag Archives: sober

Journaling

Checking in; Journal.

Leave a comment

My three years of sobriety date is coming up and I ordered myself some shit to celebrate. I’m currently battling bipolar depression but I have lots of tools at my disposal to win the battles. The weather has been very cool and rainy, I welcome it with open arms in August when we are usually in a heat wave and the city is filled with forest fire smoke. Its been a fur baby summer as I adopted 2 rescue kittens (Puma and Dreamer). And my parents got a new puppy (Shiva). All the cats and pup are healthy, happy and doing well.

I just want to get by, and be a survivor. I am happy with a simplistic minimalist lifestyle. I’m still a junkie but I dont seek endorphins through substance any longer. Third time getting sober and I suppose third time is a charm; I’ve never made it this long.

Signing off.

-Nina

My Poetry

Rambling poety.

Leave a comment

Im not sure what to think, drinking my coffee.

Is this all worthless or purposeful, my nervousness.

Got me high like a livewire, planet earth.

I want to choose life, not suicidal quite.

But the scitzo-effective symptoms with no remedy.

Trying to be the end of me.

Try to live on and see dawn.

My Buddhist ideology makes me think that we can respawn.

That this goes on and on. I could be wrong.

No more meat and dairy not at all.

No alcohol…

So I hope I can go to a good place

I wonder. What would it take?

Take me away from pain sustained in a new way.

About me

2 Years Sober

Leave a comment

Today I celebrate 2 years drug and alcohol free.

My poison of choice is alcohol. But I have indulged in everything I could get my hands on.

Drinking for many and every reason.

I didnt attend any meetings or have a counsellor of any sort. I rely on my friends and family to talk to when life throws me curveballs and I’m forever thankful for that.

A big part of my sobriety is very simple. I have housing. I am a success story for providing people with addiction and mental health issues affordable housing.

Once I had my housing I was sober in weeks. I had one relapse. But I quickly got back on track and here we are!

Thanks for reading.

-Nina

About me, Journaling

December 3rd Journal

1 Comment

451 days Sober. I arise…

5 am and all is silent. I take a puff from my vape… exhale… put it down and open wordpress and place my hands on the keyboard… Now I’m here and what does here bring? I dont remember my dreams, so theres no getting into that with you. I feel rather drowsy, tired, and uninspired. But I vow to type anyways. Life has its ups and downs and as the coffee kicks in I feel the positivity of my own life. Blessed with many things and surviving just fine. Today is all we really have. I’m thankful to be here.

I feel free. Everything is at my fingertips. And the earth under my feet is mine. So I walk. And this is where I want to be. Rain pours down and it is the most calming sound on earth. Thank you for the rain… As my walk ends my phone dies walking up the steps to my apartment and I think this is perfectly meant to be…

It is now 6 am and I am back at my computer desk. Back at WordPress. The junkie inside me is telling me I want dopamine… I want adrenaline. And I will give in soon enough. But it wont be with alcohol. It is a natural high that I seek. Runners high or freezing showers. My anxiety meds. I suppose they are a narcotic… But life is simply not livable without them. I simply want to get high.

I hope I do.

-Nina

About me

Journaling ramble Jot

Leave a comment

Waking up… Its different here; not as calm being as that I am not the only early riser. 15 days sober and simply trying to get through every day. Not that I am not happy. I am happy. There are so many things I am thankful for and that I love dearly… Today I dont know what I will do but Im hoping today is bliss. Days can be bliss if you allow them to be.

Sidenote; I think I may have slept on my arm as my ribcage is a little sore.

I have someone whom I love dearly. She makes me smile so hard… So I tell her I love her as much as I can. Its too bad that covid has led to our relationship existing from such a distance but we strive to keep our sacred love and happiness alive. I can be patient.

I am happy! My room is now a pink little nest in which I find great comfort. The weather has been much cooler the past week which calms the mind during the summer heat. I also have quit smoking; something I wasnt sure would ever happen. Drinking is one thing but ciggarettes are a bitch! Go me…

Thats all for now

-Nina