Tag Archives: relapse

Apologies

I was so lost, could’nt tell truth between fiction

Please grant me forgiveness

My imagination got the best of me

From my psychedelic recipes, weed smoke and drinking sprees

Ecstasy and any pill I could heed

Please forgive me for the lies I seed

But its okay if I sewed my own fate

If that’s the case I can love you from far way

Maybe one day you can hear me

Sending so many apologies.

Is it time?

“Is it time”? I ask them.

And I ask myself… “To give up”?

They always answer “No, It is not time”.

I also tell myself “No, It is not time”.

For whatever reason being…

I carry on.

“It is not time”.

Seasons change: Rain to snow, and clouds to sun.

I move from place to place.

Starting new lives in new worlds.

“It is not time”.

As I grow older I know I must carry on.

When it is time to go: my heart will no longer beat.

I will leave this place: or I will return.

Until my last breath: I will not give up.

“No, It is not time”.

Skating, Photography and Sobriety

 

Sobriety has left me with a serious amount of time on my hands and at first I saw it as a burden (because I’m an idiot) but have now realized it’s a great blessing for me to peruse anything I want. I don’t have many friends in the City anymore for various reasons but that just leaves me with even more freedom; not having to please anyone or be urged into getting back into drugs and alcohol. It feels really good to be writing this right now because I can see a version of me; she is happy and free.

I’m feeling extremely positive, leaving the depression behind me and conquering the anxiety. One thing I’m excited about is skating, I went and got my skateboard re-gripped yesterday and am dreaming of all the concrete possibilities. I started skateboarding back when I was 6 years old after my next door neighbors held a block party with a half pipe. My curiosity led my parents to allow me complete freedom with my skate, turning the steep hills of my neighborhood to race tracks for adrenaline chasing little kids like me and my friends. Skateboarding never left my life, I’ve fractured my knee and tore my ACL skating so I’m cautious but it didn’t stop me or slow me down. I’ve been skating the park down the street a few times since we moved into this new place; it’s an odd one but I’m so Damn thankful it’s there.

Another passion of mine I have more time to persue is photography and film. I’m not really sure what to tell you about that other than that I live in an extremely beautiful and diverse city in Vancouver; so even a day of just strolling around with my camera could be a great day in itself.

The weather forecast for the next week is hot and sunny.

Wish me luck.

Nina