Tag Archives: anxiety attacks

Breaking Trans: I’m having a panic attack stepping’ out the door for more. For what?

My stupid ___ mother___ bulls____ anxiety that is absolutely absurd ___ed me over today…to be worrin’ bout whatever the ****! people think of me when I’m hopping’ buss’s and riding around the city? For what…? Why…? I don’t know why…  but its painful !(physically) ….it’s become an issue for me all of a sudden but I do recognize the ins and outs of it! Yeah there gon’ be some people that’ll judge the trans sector of society but we can’t let that stop us from being ourselves… So amidst the  panic attacks I step out the door. Maybe not just for me, maybe I step out that door for other trans and genderqueer people or maybe I do it to show myself that anxiety is but an illusion created by a chemical imbalance in my mind.

I don’t know!

Trans people make up 0.03 of the population of the world making us very much a minority yeah thats true but…There are always going to be good and bad days for everyone, not just people with anxiety and not just trans people. Millions of people across the globe fight there own personal demons and nightmares.

But today I broke mine when I stepped out the door.

Breaking anxiety and breaking trans! 🙂

So shout outs to “me” in my red dress and L.A. Fitted Cap.

Lol.

Glad to be home.

Nina

I’ve tried to conquer this. – Nina

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I’ve seen so sick for so long.

This is hard to type;

wondering for how long… this is going to be my life.

I’m trapped in this.

I can’t remain calm, when my bodily chemistry feels like napalm.

Something to scorch the pain

Somebody torch the way

This is torture;

I live with day to day.

I’m up and down but mostly down

and it’s down deep

Hoping I don’t go down so far that you can’t find me

As the tears stream down my face

It’s hard to face the days

I need this pain to go away.

Hard to see

Hard to speak

Hard to breathe

Please …

Help me God

I need peace.

-Nina