All posts by goodnightnina

Transgender Artist and Producer Vancouver Canada Ninavestergaard26@gmail.com http://www.youtube.com/innashademusic http://www.ninayinartcollection.WordPress.com My name is Nina Yin Vestergaard / Nina Shade , 27 year old transgender female from Vancouver Canada. Currently doing art / studying full time. I try to indulge in as many art forms as possible. Connect with me!
About me, My Poetry, Poetry

Drowned sorrows

7 Comments

I am an addict; since twelve

Ive delved.

Weed, crack, heroin, crystal, mushrooms, lsd

More than all of these

Alcohol consumes me

I consume it; fluent in being a nuisance

Constantly picking up shattered pieces

My hands and heart are bleeding

The world seems iced and freezing

Do I still have meaning

Purpose

Am II worthless

These are the questions I ask Looking back at my past

Im trying so hard to keep compusure

Trauma upon trauma with no closure

My central nervous system is shot

So im constantly nervous

Everybody thinks Im happy but that’s just a surface

Im not trying to complain we all have pain

I wanna remain on this plain of love and gains

Music and poetry; the essence of me knowing me

That Im not such a terrible girl

That’s I have so much to offer the world

But Im crying out for help to all my friends and love

I cant do this alone sometimes Im looking above

Can god help me out a bit

Ive fallen and I can never seem to get out of it

A rhyming rant chant of the addict

Sobriety day one; let me have a crack at it.

 

Aboriginal, My Poetry, Poetry

Midnight.

Leave a comment

totem_moon_by_bitmap0023[1]

I awaken as the night sky pours on the concrete

Moonlight cascades the mountain ranges and trees

A quietness and stillness as the darkness explores

It is serene and void of the daylights abrubt

Here is where anything is possible and the unreal comes to life

The animals  no longer hide; roaming the terrain

The fox; wolf; racoons; coyotes; owls and bears

I feel as if a visitor in this time and place and I respect it

I respect its sacredness and its divine still

While streetlights flicker along the cascading streets

Not a sound and not a movement nor passing cars

All is still yet I know it is very much alive

When I awaken to the nights sky

 

Anime, My Poetry, Poetry

Subconscious

Leave a comment

3b652518677231742b8b4af0336a01ce[1]

My pineal and subconcious intermingle

Billions of nuerons form to become a single vision

Lessons upon lessons intermittent

Questing for the answers of the tangent

Like LSD sparking the mind lightning

Some find the darkness parts and becomes frightning

But I lounge in this place and I am found in this place

Every single cell and sound in this place

The visions like a virtue

Nothing is real and therefor nothing can really hurt you

 

Hip Hop, My Poetry, Poetry

Poetry. Rhyme form. J dilla.

Leave a comment

Its amazing how far Ive come and surpassed the times
Meditate to elate and relax my mind
Through the ups and the downs the goods and the bads
Don’t hold out on me now; cause life is over too fast
Im up early today; just like I’m s’posed to
Working on the rhymes; nothing else comes close to
The freedom of a pen and a page
Long before the sunrise because its the zen of the day
And I aint worried about a damn thang
Peace to anyone listening; I hope your life is filled with blessing
Kick back watch the stars aligned for your design
The motion of the mind cosmic with the sky
Now the third eye mines alive and steady scopin’
I fill your mind up with my word that’s outspoken
Please know; Im out; Open
Commence to start the smokin
Igniting the minds of those who feel hopeless.

Hook:
We rise fall like sunrise and sunset
Devise a plot. We come rise and come get
Living for today
Tomorow don’t exist
With dreams of yesterdays just blowing in the wind
We rise fall like sunrise and sunset
Devise a plot. We come rise and come get
Living for today
Tomorow don’t exist
With dreams of yesterdays just blowing in the wind

The beautifully free
Picking the fruits from the tree
Asking eachother “Like, who you gonna be”
And she’s lookin’ at me.
But aint nothin for free.
So I said ” Im gonna hustle, you gotta hustle to eat”.
Now I knew; I was just taking the easy way out
Cause god got my back and putting food in my mouth
But I always wanted more; movin’ about with a clout
I should have stayed on a path but I took another route
Years gone past and I seen the same sister
The hustle was a struggle and I really fucking missed her
The freedom we had; can I go back to the past
So I turned to the girl and asked…
“What you want to be?”

Hip Hop, My Poetry, Poetry

What you wanna be?

Leave a comment

The beautifully free

Picking the fruits from the tree

Asking eachother “Like, who you gonna be”

And she’s lookin’ at me.

But aint nothin for free.

So I said ” Im gonna hustle, you gotta hustle to eat”.

Now I knew; I was just taking the easy way out

Cause god got my back and putting food in my mouth

But I always wanted more; movin’ about with a clout

I should have stayed on a path but I took another route

Years gone past and I seen the same sister

The hustle was a struggle and I really fucking missed her

The freedom we had; can I go back to the past

So I turned to the girl and asked

“What you want to be?”

 

 

My Poetry, Poetry

Therapies in rhyme

Leave a comment

Therapies in rhyme

Soon i will arise a year of sober eyes

Many tears i cried my brother overdosed i ask why

Im the one survived, perhaps i

Carry the torch, the earth scorches

I breathe deeply emptiness of emotions

Read the dhamma build my karma

Love life like the kamma sutra

I position munitions menouver

Vancouver my throne home for the millennia

Deaths wreek havoc on my familia

Meth, crack, down and alcohol

We all drowned sorrows so i build

For a better tomorrow

My auras ever change cause impermanence

This is the only permanent

I observe the shifts

Heres a tip

Cherish the single moment

And envision it as bliss

Nina

Mahayana Buddhism, Poetry

Sobriety

Leave a comment

Sobriety was something I had previously thought to be unattainable; the anxiety of life too much to bear without substance, without alcohol. I needed it for almost anything and usually there was no stopping me from obtaining it; and always wanting more. A vicious cycle of dependence which could not be broken. Thank god I was wrong.

I am currently 8 months sober and the benefits have reached and blessed every aspect of life. I have less anxiety, less illnesses, less arguments, less confusion, less injury, less financial burdens and I could go on forever. Most importantly I have accepted buddha and my sobriety go hand in hand on this path that I have chosen.

There are so many ways to conquer demons of which used to control my life. Im finding myself in meditation everywhere I go and every day that I stay. It is very important for my day to day balance to practice the teachings of various meditations and perhaps my writings can lead others to finding a healthier balance in life regardless of religious belief or path.

Thats all for now.

Love Nina