Tag Archives: Transitioning
Transitioning. Male to female. -Nina
Touching on the subject. Going male to female….
Although I had been dressing as a female in public for many years, and living as a woman on and off. For relationship reasons sigh… : For one year I had attempted to be completely male, bad mistake. “Now” Realizing how far from the real me I had been “acting”. I got into a treatment program and started hormones with almost a completely shaved head, YIKES. I had been working construction heavily and was extremely muscular, you can see in this video: A male version of me. Right before Hormone Replacement Therapy.
I was extremely sceptical if I could find my way back to my feminine self. I was and always am faced with little bits of discrimination here and there, It made me anxious but I knew I had to try or I would regret it for the rest of my life. Slowly but surely my hair grew long, my muscles in my arms started to vanish and my breasts grew larger and larger by the months. Men and women alike all of a sudden wanted something from me… my old friends and even married ex girlfriends wanted to sleep with me. Nevertheless I was happier my transition was working well.
After about 2 years I started to feel complete, luckily for me and unlike a few of my trans girl friends surgery or any procedure for that matter wasn’t anything I wanted or needed. I had slight self confidence issues and still had a few things to learn about the confidence and grace a beautiful woman such as myself and should be able to portray. The internet leads to ugly places most of the time but…I had met the love of my life… With a little help from my girlfriend I dressed less conservative, far more sexy in public. It was extremely liberating and a huge growth for me.
A video of me now! 🙂 – Butterfly*** Subscribe to my channel if you’d like.
Me today: not the flashiest of pictures but to me it’s just an example.
Today I’m able to dress however I want to, go to whatever bathroom, I’m treated how I’d like for the most part and I have zero regrets. Luckily for me I had basic supporters; my friends and family, this is almost impossible to do alone. My health care covers all my medication “Ohhh Canadaaaaa.”, and thrift stores provide me with clothes I can actually afford; progressing my style and confidence.
That’s basically how the shit went in a nutshell. Of course I gave up a few ignorant people along the way but I think that that’s great that they can fuck off! Fuck right off lol.
Peace n blessings.
Nina
The art of finding oneself. – Nina
More often than not we are told how to live, right?
Take a minute to evaluate.
Starting off in a classroom for years and even decades on end, you sit, sit to learn; Christopher Columbus discovered America and how to find the square route of random numbers. Sigh*
Did human evolution naturally incline us to spend our most important years of growth in a chair? I think not…….
We graduate, we’ve learned how to follow orders and build bridges for our employers… laws of the land; creating barriers physically and financially more and more as life progresses. The idea of a 9-5 and a white picket fence and 3 kids. Even if it is graspable for the lucky few, we struggle to move forward.
“Did you stop, stop to reevaluate the ingrained ideology placed upon you?”.
Individuality is becoming farther and farther less prevalent as we strive to get the same jobs, same cars, computers and apparel… We want to be beautiful or successful financially in essence… bombarding us in advertisements and corporate agenda.
Some say in order to find oneself, one must lose themself; similarly in religions in the aspect of being “reborn,”. Every day we wake up from a subconscious state, back into the conscious reality. Every day is a chance to be reborn.
What I am trying to portray is that “change” is this key. To Lose yourself… be reborn…
It all starts with you. As much as the daily routine brings you comfort it can also be your prison.
Escape it.
Fear not what change may bring unto you.
“Imagine”.
Who you are and where you can be. Erase all fear they have instilled inside your heart.
Be free.
“Who am I?” She thought… – Nina
I’m that butterfly – Poetry reading by Nina Yin
Butterfly….
I’m that butterfly;
I’m that beautiful butterfly.
Pink, purple,
yellow and black.
I’m that butterfly you can’t catch,
just watch in awe.
Fluttering into nothingness.
I’m that butterfly whom rises from earth.
Into the sky; rising rebirth.
-Nina
A Transgender Note – Nina
I don’t feel as though being transgender as a burden, to me it’s a blessing. Many gods, goddesses and spiritual guides were intersex or changed gender over time. Some aboriginal tribes in north America had a name for it centuries ago ” 2 spirit ”
Although unacceptable in Muslim and Christian faiths I am neither. In Buddhism they regard it as your spiritual qualities from your past life arising in your present. I do not need validation from anyone or anything to be myself.
Countries around the world need to show basic human rights, laws protecting trans people across the world. I see suffering in the trans community from an ignorant world without conscious mind on human spirituality and science.
I am a proud transgender woman urging you to be whatever you want to be. Manifest yourself a brighter future in regards to your identity. You need not a label nor a piece of paper. You need not to be understood by all.
But you need to be yourself,
Love Nina
Masterpiece and Spontaneity. A zen story.
Masterpiece
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A master calligrapher was writing some characters onto a piece of paper. One of his especially perceptive students was watching him. When the calligrapher was finished, he asked for the student’s opinion – who immediately told him that it wasn’t any good. The master tried again, but the student criticized the work again. Over and over, the calligrapher carefully redrew the same characters, and each time the student rejected it. Finally, when the student had turned his attention away to something else and wasn’t watching, the master seized the opportunity to quickly dash off the characters. “There! How’s that?,” he asked the student. The student turned to look. “THAT…. is a masterpiece!” he exclaimed. |
Meanings: “Originality is what makes each of us a masterpiece. Don’t stick to the same old way of doing things.”
“Stop thinking and just do what’s natural for you, instead of what’s expected. Some of our best work is done when we least expect it.”
“You can’t perform perfectly under the watch of critical eyes. When you don’t force perfection, it happens by itself, spontaneously. Great things happen when you least suspect it.”
“Whenever you watch over someone you make them self-conscious and uncreative. It’s like trying to teach a child. If you let them alone they will usually figure it out themselves and it will be great.” – See
Myself : Part. 1 *
I’m going to attempt to write more about myself,
my life.
Part 1.
I was always different for sure. Too much too handle for pretty much anyone I grew up with, became friends with or had relationships with. I was kicked out of home at a young age, bipolar disorder and an addictive personality: constantly lit or trying to get high or drugged out and party…being homeless and running the streets with kid gangs basically. Doing petty crimes and shit it was stupid. I’ve changed a lot.
Being transgender only started to blossom when I turned 18, living in a crack shack that the government called a “group home”. Starting to dress how I wanted to …I liked getting drunk, a lot. I’ve always had hobbies and passions but mixing em up with drugs and alcohol was deemed necessary on a daily basis. I also thought drinking was giving me the courage to dress how I wanted.
I’ve been in a few abusive relationships, somehow managing to graduate college and various courses that peaked my interest. When I worked construction it was like selling my feminine soul and I hated myself for it for over 7 years. But nevertheless at 25 I started hormones and transitioned into myself; female full time. I have zero regrets. I have no doubt in my mind of who I am and the choice I made was right.
Since I transitioned Ive had several jobs, schools and was never really targeted for being a trans woman. But I had been partying for a living… for a year…the drugs twisted my mind. I met my girlfriend online, she helped me get out of the trap. She encourages me to peruse any art, job or school I like and I’m happy. Sober. In Love. I can’t get enough and it’s like I’m comfortable for the first time you know?
I’m good.
Dedicated to my girl.
Love Nina
Shadows on The Sun -Nina
Blessing to be alive and recognize that girl in the mirror, she’s smiling and smiling, smiling delirious.
Smiling in pouring rain, smiling in snow, smiling is important, to smile when it’s cold.
Miracles seen, kind of like lifelike dream but ,materialized unto me, so I’m so positive indeed
Battling happily, keep writing and enter psyche, destructured and restructured, sharing, airing it out for my comfort likely
This moment…. will I remember love beaming from my heart when it’s done?
Cause last week I was in the streets; darkness cast shadows on the sun.
Nina Yin Vestergaard
Hiding… – Nina
My teacher said it’s not too late,
To be myself inside this place,
But I hide behind my hair and hands,
so they did not know just who I am,
I shaved my head and walked the block,
I grew it back, it’s there I walk,
Started off as awful shy,
Now a graceful butterfly….
-Nina
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