Tag Archives: Transgender writer

Art, Poetry, Writing

A check in with Nina ( About me part 5 )

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So I’ve been  blogging for about two months now, this isn’t my first time trying wordpress but I have never been this dedicated and with this much purpose. As a transgender artist I think my presence as a writer, youtube artist, rapper, graffiti artist and poet speaks volumes on the great changes to myself and other trans individuals across the world. Please join me.

I never in my life would have thought of “putting myself out there” for the world the way I have been doing, especially on my YouTube, especially as a trans girl! Www.YouTube.com/innashademusic. (Please check me out and subscribe). But as I grow older I realize how important self expression and art can really be! That, and conquering your fears. This is very important….Sometimes a samurai has to shed their armor.

I was terrified to transition to a girl full time. But in the end it saved my life and I could not possibly be happier on how it turned out. An outspoken artist I remain and I feel as though my transition is done. I’ve grown so much over the past few years and I just want to share this hope and inspiration with trans people and people in general alike.

I’d like this blog to really grow into something special, my followers have risen and I am ecstatic to get reactions and feedback from my work. We all grow artistically together here on wordpress; unlike facebook I get on WordPress and completely dedicate myself to writing and posting something special for the masses. The closer I can grow to my readers and fellow bloggers the more I’m going to progress.

I am in no way, shape or form a perfect person but they say the lotus flower can only bloom in the mud. As I work on my craft I’d like to thank the people pushing me along; to keep me creating and writing, drawing and filming. I’m going to keep pushing, harder than I ever have before. Perhaps I’ll start sharing more and more personal stories on WordPress because I do have many stories and lessons; a lifetime of struggle and success in its overcoming glory. To share.

Thank you.

– Nina

 

 

 

My Poetry, Poetry, Stories, Zen

The toy box in my bedroom. A short story. – Nina

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Once upon a time, perhaps in another dimension of sorts. Or perhaps an altered reality ( a parallel to the norm which had been departed ). There was a world… it was a dark world like our own although the visions and communications to the mind lay shrouded in an unknown; as to wake up drunk in an amusement park in an abandoned ghost town. All those who enter this realm are intoxicated… euphoric… Or confused.

In this place the laws of physics are often bent, finding oneself transporting from one place to the next. Perhaps flying over the maps of which the reality created unto itself. It is itself; a living and growing place. It’s a place you’ve never been, but you have, faces you’ve never seen but it’s as though a permanent dejavu. Traveling along to its ominous melody.

I find myself in this place often. I climb under the barbed wire and war torn trenches just to see how deep this rabbit hole goes, the blood and destroyed homes visions of viciously broken families. Different tribes that dwell in this place and different spirits.

I’ve seen myself touched by the souls of the dead, although strangling me and taking my breath… killing me, I and only I entrusted with Devine powers to to speak amongst the spiritual realm…and flying across an infinite ocean. I wish I could go back to those times in this place.

This is a violent place, mostly deserted  I have been killed, I’ve killed, had sex many times. I’ve been killed many times in this place and seen life simply placed back into my chest. Leaving me unsure if death is real. There is no contemplation here, too much fog for one to adress mathematics once arrived.

I found myself in horrific post war slums, a child with no parents… There was a mattress and toy box. I’m around 5 years old. As the box opens…I’m not sure exactly what these toys, these memories, they see me, they all see me. You see it was me in the the box. Everything I’ve ever known. In this box. In this place.

When one finds themselves in this place… it can be dangerous. To see light amidst the fog, is… blinding enlightenment, a simple light; it’s as though the heart you use in this place stops beating but… There is no heart. You are always …Gone or missing… One thing is for sure, you are very much: alone.

Of course there is a way out, isn’t there? I think as you are reading this you might be beginning to understand. The subconscious; the infinite abstract of emptiness in form. Not simply the universe seeing itself. Not simply an imaginary delusion of grandiose proportion. That little voice sketched in your head… that lingering feeling in the back of your mind….

Nina… it’s time to wake up…

 

 

About me, My Poetry, Poetry, Writing

The art of finding oneself. – Nina

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More often than not we are told how to live, right?

Take a minute to evaluate.

Starting off in a classroom for years and even decades on end, you sit, sit to learn; Christopher Columbus discovered America and how to find the square route of random numbers. Sigh*

Did human evolution naturally incline us to spend our most important years of growth in a chair? I think not…….

We graduate, we’ve learned how to follow orders and build bridges for our employers… laws of the land; creating barriers physically and financially more and more as life progresses. The idea of a 9-5 and a white picket fence and 3 kids. Even if it is graspable for the lucky few, we struggle to move forward.

“Did you stop, stop to reevaluate the ingrained ideology placed upon you?”.

Individuality is becoming farther and farther less prevalent as we strive to get the same jobs, same cars, computers and apparel… We want to be beautiful or successful financially in essence… bombarding us in advertisements and corporate agenda.

Some say in order to find oneself, one must lose themself; similarly in religions in the aspect of being “reborn,”. Every day we wake up from a subconscious state, back into the conscious reality. Every day is a chance to be reborn.

What I am trying to portray is that “change” is this key. To Lose yourself… be reborn…

It all starts with you. As much as the daily routine brings you comfort it can also be your prison.

Escape it.

Fear not what change may bring unto you.

“Imagine”.

Who you are and where you can be. Erase all fear they have instilled inside your heart.

Be free.

About me, My Poetry, Poetry

Note to self. – Nina

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Don’t feel so down, you are an inspiration

You’ve got a gift with inclinations

Your a beautiful soul with permanent growth

You extend a hand up and always woman or man up

To any situation…

It’s your world beautiful

You can be free anytime, cause freedom is in here

In your heart, depart to anywhere

You love and are loved, that’s a fact

Don’t feel alone when you’re intact and attached to love

Just relax…

 

Poetry, Stories, Writing

About me :) Pt. 5

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I’m 50 days clean and sober which is more than I can honestly say I’ve ever done in any past attempts. When my anxiety gets bad I think how far I’ve come from being homeless just a few months ago to a beautiful apartment in my most desired neighborhood…

I liked to party… or maybe a more serious way to put it, I liked to get Fucked Up… and also self medicated in extremely dangerous mixes of substance and situations, seriously Fucked Up situations I put myself in to do so. I can’t begin to describe how lucky I feel to be alive. Daunting memories and situations I have to try to deal with and leave in the past.

Lucky for me, after um… using random shit for 10 years or more, I never died in my sleep nor physically hurt anyone other than myself as far as I know. I worry so dearly about all the people I grew close to and It’s great to see my close friends in a recovery zone too, we’re all in this together and nothing is easy to do alone.

Art is so important, expression and the act of simple creativity. That’s an addiction I can never, ever… leave behind. Blogging has been a great outlet, something to look forward to when I wake up, read articles and poetry and sharing a little bit of what inspires me and keeps me grounded. I’d say it’s played a positive role in my life, recovery (whatever you want to call it). I don’t think blogging about my experience in the streets is in store anytime soon but I thought it would be a nice note to leave the world that… I’ve been through a lot but, I’m doing better than alright.

Peace n love.

Nina

Art, Love, Poetry, Writing

I was about to cry; Then I felt the universe. -Nina

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Sitting alone it’s pitch black before the dawn.

Stars in the sky.

I have had my issues with depression, the weight of the universe making me about to make me cry.

“No Nina,”.

It’s not the weight upon you; causing this sensation…

it is the energy trying to flow through you.

This world is moving and flowing at unimaginable rates and molecular mathematics.

I let the energies of it all flow through me; it takes but a millisecond to feel it.

Like a river.

Flow through my body and take all my pain away.

To literally feel time, space and matter for just that one moment.

Do not fight the flow of the raging river was a Zen tale I always enjoyed, perhaps it applies in all moments.

This flowing universe ; we live amongst the endless stars.

Stop to feel it,

If you need to.

 

-Nina

Anime, Poetry

Shooting stars.

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Bright as a shooting star, igniting the universe;I am born once again.

Illuminating the cosmos. Mesmerizing truths and realizations baffled before so clear now.

I was lost, trampling snow in a place unknown overthrown in self doubt and conflicted loathe.

I was self indulged in self destruction malnourished of real substance encompassed in self corruption never seeing light it’s obstructed.

But that’s past tense I’m fastened in my journey to my last quest, luminous natural like when the grass bends.

Blooming and blossoming. Autumn leaves. Calming breeze. A soldier like me only armed with peace.

Customized juxtaporized to my reborn self conducting rhymes that unlock the mind.

See clear.

The infinite number is single, you in this moment a single bell ringing, it humbles.

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Nina Yin

 

 

Aboriginal, Art, Buddhism, Poetry, Quotes, Wu Tang

Liebster Award. / A writers heart.

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I was nominated by:  Alhana06 Thank you!!!

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She asked.

1.) What made you start writing?

I started writing about things, people and quotes that inspire me and millions of people across the planet. I can’t point at a what made or makes me other than inspiring people; hundreds of them.

2.) What is your biggest pet peeve for your significant other, or your dream date? Why?

It’s hard for me to say I have a pet peeve for the most important person in my life. My pet peeve is that we can’t physically crawl into each others heads telepathically. I think I’d like that. She’s also a tease but that’s a yin and yang I love to hate and hate to love. 🙂

3.) What would be your dream vacation?

Myself, Girlfriend, Ziggy and brother Doryan and my parents staying somewhere tropical but able to visit temples, perhaps Thailand or India.

4.) What band would you love to see in concert?

The Roots performing J Dilla, Or Stone Mecca with the Rza

5.) What is your favorite quote of all time?

Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph.”

-Haile Selassie

6.) What is your favorite book?

The Tao of Wu

7.) Who is your biggest inspiration? Why?

Buddha, they say Buddhism isn’t about “becoming a Buddhist” it’s just about becoming a better person.

8.) Who was the first Author you read?

Ill just say Dr. sues because that’s the first thing that comes to mind. Green eggs and ham. 🙂 That was my jam, Sam I am.

9.) What makes you laugh more than anything else?

Being with my girlfriend; letting go of myself makes me laugh about pretty well anything. Laughing at myself more often than not nobody’s perfect!

10.) Do you ever want more than what you have for you life right now? Why? What would it be?

I’d like to be doing more film projects, they say a picture paints a thousand words, perhaps films paint a million, film schools are in my future. I’d also like less of something in my life: plastic products and the monetary system.

11.) What is your favorite thing about yourself?

That I have a passion to grow, still feeling young and eager to learn. I also hope I inspire a few people along the way as an outspoken transgender woman or just an outspoken person.

 

Thank you.    For the nomination.

I nominate:

Zen Flash: Zen Flash

The Militant Negro: The Militant Negro

Haiku out of Africa: Haiku out of Africa

Warrior Publications: Warrior Publications

Dosenkunst: Dosenkunst

 

To those I nominated nominate I ask the following questions.

1. Where do you find inspiration?

2. What’s your dream career?

3. Who is your favorite poet?

4.What makes you “tick” and why?

5.What was your first major memory as a child?

6.Describe a “perfect world” .

7. If you could live anywhere on earth where would it be?

8. What’s your biggest obstacle?

9. Who’s your biggest musical influence?

10. Why do you write?

11. What’s the single most important issue mankind faces in 2016 and what would you like done about it?

 

Nominate 4-11 people and ask them 11 questions that come to mind about your nominees.

All the best!

Nina