Quest quest questionz’
Only me and my reflectionz’
Have me left guessin’ gaspin’ 4 air’
I wanna’ see thangs clear n’
Not despair’
I’ve lived too many daydream nightmarez’
Upon these days revolve’ the self doubt’
In out and about’
Wishin’ I had clout n a stout’
Aerosol candid bandit’
Maybe a mic n my hand its’ jus a little’
Piece of the puzzle’
The pitbull muzzle’
Hyphen’
Reciting lyrical exitement’
Take a bite of forbidden fruits’
Strange…
The way these rhymes take me away.
Nina
The stress of being a trans girl and manic depressive is sometimes overwhelming but I feel as though I always come out on top. Sure I have my days of dysphoria or anxiety to the point of panic attacks and teardrops. But I also have days that I conquer the world; constantly doing things I didn’t think I could do and have never done before. Few months ago I was living in the streets and not knowing what was going to happen; and that didn’t even bother me so much in the cold of winter, I just knew I was safe, and I was too strong to let it take me over. Being in the homeless shelter didn’t even make me flinch. Now I’m living in a beautiful spot and STILL sober. STILL not slummin’ my life away for the fuck of it. Honestly… You got to just keep it movin’.
I used to use every excuse in the book to pick up bottles and self indulge in anything and everything self indulgence means…
When we have our bad days we aught to use them even more wisely than the good days. Some of my best writing, art and videos are from the worst moments in my life. You can use your pain as power. When you do shit you’re afraid of doing just cause you can it brings you to a whole new place. When my girlfriend helped release me from many shells I was hiding in; I was again reborn. Always being reborn. She’s the world to me and I couldn’t do it on my own. And the streets showed me that I’m part of something bigger than just myself and my life. I’ve been told that I inspire people; I dont know how much of an inspiration I can be but I guess that I am truly trying, so thank you to everyone showing me support.
It truly means the world.
Nina
Painted last year at this time in Chicago’s Logan Square neighborhood. Watch the time-lapse video here.
Sedative poetry for meditating
Allow its resignating
In your psyche’
Designed effects: deep breaths n closing eyelids
It’s you and I
Mellow your senses, light candles or incences
Again; return to the breath and remain centred
Clear your mind, it’s only your breath
Vision a bright light, now concentrate on its depth
Breathing like calming ocean tides
These spoken rhymes a guide
To relax or open minds
Sending you to your to splendor
Which is… whatever you desire.
Nina
The pen slowly glides along the paper, it completes the secular void of lines. It creates the books inner dreams and inhibitions. It defines the purpose and life of the creator.
My journal: my harness of inner energy and means of self justification. I use it to control my past, present and future; it acts as a portal to my hopes dreams and fantasies.
Even to me I am unclear of whom I am and what I will become, so it’s important to create:
The Blueprint***
Nina Yin Vestergaard
Inspite of my risked flight heres some insight to my intwined mind designed to inspire
Nothing required; building from a comforting nothingness to be blunt ignorance is bliss and just oh so comforting
But no views distorted, as far as I’ve seen or noticed. Visionary mind state I escalate and remain focussed
The persuit of happiness is on track mathmatically; tapping into my potential of a well that fills and distills drastically
Conform to no norms, I’m in no way shape or form a part of a swarm a touch comforting warmth
I like runways of sunrays that come blaze the concrete Im amazed at the phases Ive been through I’m feeling complete
My girl and I build together; nothing ever felt so real, Im feeling the future will help us keep it here n still always will just be together
Nina
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