Category Archives: Poetry

About me, My Poetry, Poetry, Stories, Transgender

Mirrors and time. – Nina

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An imaginative creature with a desire for adventure, forever in youth.
Years went by…

She looked in that mirror at 13 years old absolutely baffled. It changed everything. “Oh that’s who I am,”. She thought. Eyes wide as the moon shocked in awe. Now I see… A girl is who I am and who I am meant to be.But as most stories go years upon years went by ignoring self in the mirror of time. Dumbfounded by complexities and obstacles to simply finding oneself. She roamed about indulging in indulgence. Schooling in school and working in work. Fulfillment was un-achieved it was simply just work.

Of course there were the slightest attempts to reclaim who she was, where she was going and what she represents. But… Instead of believing in herself she simply listened to others, burying dreams and emotions, tossing them in oceans of acid. Profound sadness eventually madness engulfed her mind absolutely unable to unwind, she left it all…

Luckily for her time allowed the dream so resurface, emerging with profound purpose.

        Seeing the truth in a new light wings grew for a new flight. The wind simply carries as the wind usually does and she grew into something unusually good… The world slowly lifted off of her shoulders and she sees herself in the mirror once again.
Poetry

Nina Shade ( Nina Yin) Goodnightnina – Dreams / Every Night (Slam poetry over J Dilla)

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goodnightnina's avatarGoodnightNina.

Lyrics:

Dreams….

I dream every night. It’s like I don’t sleep; I’m far to busy venturing rivers and streams, painting graffiti on infinite trains.

My dreams are what dreams are made of. My mind is the money so my vacation is paid up.

Tropical paradises on every turn. I’ve never seen so many gorgeous baby blue pools with pearls twirling my world.

I can fly if I want to and explore. I’m getting good, in fact I’m better than Peter pan. Taking off is tricky but I always land.

My dreams have music so I wake up singing with love. Lyrics that no conscious mind could think of.

My dreams have more amusing amusement parks than Californi and Dubai put together. My subconscious really got her shit together.

I have nightmares worst than Steven kings, but I’ve been into horror flicks since I was a kid.

But this is real…

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Poetry

Nina Yin reads her Buddhist love poetry. Slam poetry.

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They say that a lotus flower can only bloom in the mud and peace can only be found in poverty

That a fool that knows they are a fool is truly wise… They say that life is suffering

They say that what goes around comes around, the karma; my dharma

They say that to take a journey as to meditate can be a key to enlightenment and that my worldly desires can only be a burden I carry along with me

They also say love is a burden but, after  I am in love and that is something I will forever carry

I belong to an infinite universebong among the endless stars. So I bow my head to the way

I send out my positive energy to my mother earth of which is my home; and like the stars; my energy is infinite

My dreams are constantly speaking with me, possibly even more so when my mind is clear; because they say…

That whoms mind is clear

Unto them

The Universe Surrenders

-Nina

Poetry

Nowhere Fast – Nina Yin ; poetry reading, slam poetry.

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Going nowhere fast.

….

I’m going nowhere fast/my present my past,

walking barefoot miles on glass and burning coals,

I’m completely submurged but I’m yearning growth, Stuck in my youth

but my truths are endless; boundless.

Stuck in poverty surrounded by billions monopoly, tortured its sodomy,

oddly enough something is proud of me

Keep on pushing past my castrations and lacerations of life’s tolls…

so much to offer but to everyone I’m a burden,

I’m concerned for my future because I’m inflicted with pain / always against the grain, infinite struggle of trying to maintain

I’ve tried nine million nine to fives, nickel and dime lives, can’t get a trickle of a fine life, I wasn’t designed right so I rely on my despicable but inclined mind…

I’ll be fine right?

Just to catch a glimpse of a brighter tomorrow would lighten my sorrow/ ignite an emotion to put it in motion and feel it in my soul as deep as the ocean….

But practically I need to focus….

become the most observant person constantly yearnin’ to be learnin’ earnin’, the most deserving, serving people the substance of life; the light.

Nina

Poetry, Stories, Transgender, Zen

Myself Pt. 4

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Being you.

I have no problem being myself; it took me a long time to get here. I feel like growing up I tried to be a million different versions of me or some shit, never really taking the time to settle into my own skin and spirituality. Knowing I am going to be working on me, working forever. But being yourself, your going to enjoy it. Enjoy that work.

Time is a crazy concept.

I can’t go back in time and rearrange my mentality or prevent myself from a bipolar diagnosis and frequent panic attacks, I can’t say that smoking that shit is going to fuck up your life. Picking your shit up and moving on is priceless. I have a life of constant change and that’s extremely important. I can adapt like it’s nothing in the face of everything. So this time I’m granted I’m going to try and see it for what it is; what I can do with it. Make something out of it. Lasting forever.

Right now I’m doing me.

I make my own rules and goals, positive and never self destructive. I put down the bottle just to get a grip on my own life. I caught it good this time, really moving forward and exploring sides of myself I used to be afraid of. You got to give yourself props sometimes. I love just being creative and putting myself out, there’s always something to be created, for the world.

It’s important to have someone on your side.

Someone that understands your struggles and loves you, you know? In a non judgemental way, in more of a “here let me help you deal with this,”. Followed by. “Okay good now… You got this”.

It doesn’t have to be your lover but in my case it most definitely is, I used to always feel like my battle was lonesome, no matter what my social and family life was like. I’m lucky, I’ll just say that.

Ending note.

I always say that no one listens to me. I’m full of shit cause one of the people not listening to me is me. Haha*

Or maybe not paying close attention and can’t stay focused. Haha*

So listen to yourself! What is your heart and soul trying to say to “you”; just you and not the world. It all starts within.

—!Nina !!—-

Love, Poetry, Zen

You and I; The intimate twins

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You and I.

Are perfect….

 

Twins

Obserd but sounds good to my soul to hear it, maybe the word fits.

 

 

It can be easily explained but our complexity is vast.

I love you, I don’t want you to worry about anything,

Anything you need, just ask.

 

……

 

 

We grew together, naturally and happily.

My muse, sappilly, I’m enjoying your teasie casually, cheesy sassiness.

 

……

 

Thank the universe for calming morning rainfall.

Peeling us apart is always intensely painful can make me go

awol…

 

…..

 

Nevertheless…

I’m at a place I’ve never attained

so I want this feeling forever engrained.

I was enslaved.

You broke my chains.

 

……

 

Love, spirituality: Growth;

a bond never to be broke.

Love songs.

The highest of note.

 

……

 

I want us to be infinitely intimate;

My twin,

my lover

and my biggest gift.

 

 

To L.C.

Love Nina