Category Archives: About me

About me, Art, Buddhism, My Poetry, Poetry

Me reciting ; The Universe Surrenders: Slam poetry reading.

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They say that a lotus flower can only bloom in the mud and peace can only be found in poverty

That a fool that knows they are a fool is truly wise… They say that life is suffering

They say that what goes around comes around, the karma; my dharma

They say that to take a journey as to meditate can be a key to enlightenment and that my worldly desires can only be a burden I carry along with me

They also say love is a burden but, after  I am in love and that is something I will forever carry

I belong to an infinite universebong among the endless stars. So I bow my head to the way

I send out my positive energy to my mother earth of which is my home; and like the stars; my energy is infinite

My dreams are constantly speaking with me, possibly even more so when my mind is clear; because they say…

That whoms mind is clear

Unto them

The Universe Surrenders

-Nina Vestergaard

About me, Quotes

Blessed for a reason. – Nina

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Be blessed today: With courage to overcome and knowledge to build this day up as something to remember. That you’re day has the essence of love and smiling comfort surrounding you “peace” , and to feel creative and experience fresh new outlooks and ideas. Believe in yourself, believe in your dreams and fantasies. Explore your inner self, your Devine self and the meaning of why you are here.

-Nina

About me, Buddhism, Love, Zen

Tao of Nina and My Inner bodhisattva.

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Nina Yin

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Zen Buddhism. Zen. Peace. Chi’ . Beauty. : Life. Death. Reborn.

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Buddhism and the teachings of dharma /noble truths.

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Undeniably; a way I choose to study, follow, practice and teach. Buddha attained the key to enlightenment and nirvana through meditation and through the dharma (teachings) and a lifetime in search for truths to life’s suffering. The selflessness and humble ideology touches my soul and brings me happiness. Understanding and accepting noble truths is a daily study. Spreading Buddhist teachings is a rewarding and creative outlet for this lifetime I have been given.

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Peace

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Simplicity and positivity are of good essence, not to be confounded by the vast energies of this world, but to be one with them ; Being reborn to learn the dharma (teachings) once again. Finding peace in the chaos and make the world a better place for human beings and any living creature.

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Teaching

Spreading the teachings of the dharma. To be self aware of your actions, and working daily to be more useful. Practicing meditation and studying koans are a part of Buddhist teachings: Koans are questions, put fourth for you to seek and learn it’s purpose and answer with your own spirit. Constantly searching in oneself for the answers of life’s questions. Although I am a buddhist, Buddhism is not singular in a sense it is the “only” way of good. Embracing others religion and spirituality gracefully and others not judging is important.

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Life

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Do good deeds, in the face of anger be neutral and when faced with pain be empathetic. Make your surroundings in a way as to nurture your inner Buddha. Cleanliness and flowing chi’. Do not be lazy, nor impolite ;sinful in nature. Be healthy, eating of animals is unacceptable  After eating, clean. Avoid greed, anger in your heart heart nor live lustful for worldly things. Meditation and Zen I am attemping to make my home a partial “zendo”. A zendo is an empty place without pictures or furniture, for one to feel alone and undistracted, for one to meditate without distraction is important. Although you may not have an empty space, an area free of distractions can also act as a zendo. In my and in many people’s opinions there are not necessarily wrong ways to meditate. Do not expect certain feelings to arise, or disappear; it is the practice that is important. Concentrating on one’s breath one may become calmer during meditation.

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Beauty

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Appreciate every moment; All cultures, people, amimals, creatures plants are intricately connected. Admire Respect all ways and religious practices as they too may be essences of good. Incorporate your Buddhism in all aspect of life. Be yourself y’all! We are all individual spiritual beings with different stories but connected to one universe. Make every day count for every step you take you may only take once.

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-Buddha

Written by: Nina Yin Vestergaard

 

About me, Buddhism, Mahayana Buddhism, My Poetry, Stories, Zen

Tea . A Zen Story; rewritten by Nina Vestergaard.

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goodnightnina's avatarGoodnightNina.

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A Buddhist monk who studied and meditated on the teachings of Buddha for over a decade wanted to speak with an enlightened one who dwelled alone in a small temple high in the mountains. He prepared for his journey eager to hear his teaching. After 7 days of rigorous hiking he reached the temple.

The master greeted him and welcomed him inside. The master put some tea on to boil and they sat in silence. The monk became very eager and unsettled in not hearing his teaching. The master poured the tea and sat with the monk. The monk didn’t drink his tea and began questioning his master of Buddha.

The master replied.. “You have studied Buddhism for 20 years and can not simply enjoy this cup of tea?” The monk wept…. as another step to enlightenment lay under his feet….

Nina Yin

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About me, Anime, My Poetry

Shadows on The Sun -Nina

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Blessing to be alive and recognize that girl in the mirror, she’s smiling and smiling, smiling delirious.

Smiling in pouring rain, smiling in snow, smiling is important, to smile when it’s cold.

Miracles seen, kind of like lifelike dream but ,materialized unto me, so I’m so positive indeed

Battling happily, keep writing and enter psyche, destructured and restructured, sharing, airing it out for my comfort likely

This moment…. will I remember love beaming from my heart when it’s done?

Cause last week I was in the streets; darkness cast shadows on the sun.

Nina Yin Vestergaard

About me, Hip Hop, Wu Tang

Each One Teach One. The Lost Element of Hip Hop: “Knowledge.”

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feature-RZANujabes, Wu Tang, A tribe called quest, Nas, Supernatural, Talib Kweli…. are a taste of the substance, although paid in full in the case of many true to form artists, the money is of no substance when spoken in hip hop, in particular; to the youth in possession of nothing. Bling bling isn’t a thing thing in hip hop. Maybe bling is fashion money is an accessory but in my opinion it just doesn’t belong. Taking from what is there. Inspired by hundreds of poets since my first three Wu cd’s , to the spark* : the first pressed rap vynal by the sugar hill gang I am submerged in the music, expressions, growth, not money nor violence.

Elementary school: My drum teacher introduced me to Tribe, I was addicted to tribe. In fact I still am! Lucien, Lucien, LUCIEN. LUCIEN, U SHOULD KNOW. *hahaha….My best friend showed me NWA ;my best friend….NWA a different breed and coast, but both served a purpose in my growth. Still just a seed trying to figure out what all these poets are REALLY trying to tell me. Knowledge is seemingly the lost element. The game is to be told not sold right?

The powerful dynamics of a Dr Dre album is enough to put a kid feeling on top the world. His production skills and writing, storytelling….it’s knowledge you know? Now he’s a billionaire, it’s something to be proud of but not flaunted nor taken as happiness, he lost his son, friends and family along the way, his legacy is not his money, it’s his continuing struggle to keep pushing the art.

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I started battle rapping before the age of 13 in an upscale neighborhood, in a rap battle; you got to know something…. I knew it was going to be important in my growth. Slowly but surely every element of Hip hop took a form in my life and I happily embraced it. I like dancing, vynal spinning and producing….Graffiti addiction leading me to be in the system and harassed and often arrested by police but that just comes with the form and I accept it. Always feeling like the underdog the poets artists dancers and Dj’s rising into the limelight and tv screens was something that kept me going. Taking from what’s there….

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Tupac has always been important to me; Humble at times, ” I may not change the world” but strong as he rebuttals… ” I will spark the brain that will change the world” This is important! Many great art forms became less noticeable after the 90;s. Not simplify hip hop but maybe every generation has a point where they say everything

The gift of gab should be taken seriously, something I often overlooked myself, my ego barrier. Rza ;the Abbott of the Wu (the teacher) and is a perfect example of what the uses are of the lost element of Hip hop. For a better tomorrow let us not lose ourselves to ego, as the earth is at a tipping point make sure to stand on a side of balance. 360 Degrees.

Rest in peace Jam Master J, Tupac Shakur, J Dilla, Notorious B.I.G., O.D.B. , Guru, Nujabes, Lisa Left Eye, Andre Young Jr. , Nate Dogg, Sean Price, DJ Grandmaster Roc Raida and all of the ones we held close.

Nina Yin Vestergaard

About me, Art, My Poetry, Poetry, Stories, Writing

Lost-Memoirs of hallucinatory delusions and psychosis. – Nina

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mistymountains_by_taenaron-d6i3a1pI don’t know when this all began….It’s kind of a blur. Okay, it’s really a blur.

I remember being by the river with junkies. Calling them my friends but not knowing their names. Skater junkies, one of them was homeless and I was his tour guide for the day. They were smoking meth or crack from a lightbulb, I’m not really sure…

I might have been smoking weed because  I know I was euphoricphoric and anxious treading through the hot sun from park to park, malnourished.

Something inside me cracked.

Dynamite in the distance.  They  say It’s supposed to be stolen, kids stealing small dynamite from the railroad companies.

I don’t even know what year it was..

Next thing I remember I was at home.

But I really remember the windows. Night

The upstairs windows reflected evil and translucent, mysterious in nature, watching me; From all angles because in my delirious mind windows had the capability to watch me from different angles but…. someone was showing me exactly what they wanted me to see and I knew it was not real. Like the outside world was just a TV screen, the world I knew was non existent.

The television early the next morning was somewhat of a magic window as well but…Through THIS magic window I see visions dancing and shimmering along the grass. I am young I’m just a kid who’s lost somewhere… I look through the window… a kid like me. Is that me? Under a tree where beautiful poems foretell my future. I see me. Painting and about to embark on my destiny.

This positivity couldn’t last long ….amidst a war…

…. But I hadnt been sleeping. …Amplified sounds, dynamite and gunshots, bangs and chainsaws, screaming echoing throughout this valley… you could say… .slightly distracting me?

Ambushing enemies by jumping directly through the window is something odd I had to do… to enlighten the world….because whispering in my ear, in reality I was whispering to myself but in my mind it was them, they were begging for it.

I know I’mm being watched…. Through other magic windows…I’m scared“I think that this is too unreal but I can’t wake up from this nightmare.

. .I sense a Mass suicide along the musty mountains, especially in the daytime… on my journeys through the neighborhood market and community bus gypsies and fortune tellers can see my darkness they sense it’s truth and they have been long storytellers.

But I am a goddess. God or what have you. Some sort of luminous being… bringing compassion. Flashbacks on my goals to save the world….I call out to them but I’m laughed at and called an imposter by my mother. My own mother

Not only my mother but the media as well. They portrayed me pissing on the tree of life but the truth was far from it.

I was watching anime on a 13 inch TV . A war episode, maybe gundam wing…

Fighter jets and gunships rattle my cottage on the ocean faster than the speed of sound so I jump out the window and they are already gone. The beauty of my delusional ideology literally brought to life in front of my face.

I’ve stopped taking my medication because I still didn’t understand what was going on with me… I spend my time wandering the neighborhood…..

there’s a baby crying. Why crying? What does it mean. Why am I here? I walk in and am threatened and arrested moments after. I had no idea what was going on….

Not before long I am captured down the dusty alley. Taken and stripped naked following multiple injections. Solitary confinement; a prisoner of war in my own eyes to be tortured and experimented on (partial truths) cloned, drugged, raped and interrogated in my mind….

“Why are you so scared?”  The doctors ask. “What are you afraid of….”.

I’m afraid of you. Devils in suits… I thought.

Alone and afraid I hear a piano from the distance. It’s.. so beautiful and I begin to cry. Harder than I’ve ever cried. I was thankful for something so deep. A change. A friend….

I made a friend with the music and a friend with Ali…. for a moment all at ease….

I made my escape after 2 weeks.  But I think I’m getting lost again. It’s easy to get lost in these mountains… the mountains by the ocean….. “it’s not the same any more is it?” Ali asked.

“No” I replied. ” it’s not,”.

Dedicated to Ali.

Rest in Peace.

By Nina Shade Vestergaard

About me, Transgender

“To be or not to be?”. A transgender conundrum.

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IMG_20151121_121015I happened to open an old journal today… it’s interesting to take a look back at a little over  2 and a half years ago when I had put myself in process to get my hormone replacement therapy. I was extremely exited and optimistic, bubbly jabbering in my journal about how much fun I would have transitioning and making notes on my hair styles and aparell. It took a long time but I finally made the right decision for me. This decision took nearly 9 years. It was amazing, more than amazing ; to get to the hardest cornerstone decision that shaped me to the woman I am today. I was proud of it but, this long wait came with its costs…. this 9 year wait was my nightmare of which I could not awake from and still occasionally reminds me of a deeply rooted pain.

It’s extremely common for transgender youth to know that they are a little different than the rest of the flock but unable to fully express themselves, discover themselves or even acknowledge themselves at all! For years we hide our identity or face mountainous in our way: coming out and transitioning and not being treated with simple equality and fairness in the family home and society as well. For myself I was always anxious about anyone knowing or talking about the fact I had crossdressing tendencies; from panic attacks to the secrets I kept to the the dark and dangerous places in the real and online world where I found comfort.

 

For some reason homophobic and transphobic jokes and stereotypes are prevalent among youth. So prevalent it is as though it’s embedded so deep into society that you learn to call someone a faggot before you learn to clean your room. This causes an immediate effect on youth preventing growth and acceptance. I remember it starting in early elementary school, and just now starting to fade away in my late twenties. Hearing this language so much as a kid caused me to jump on a hateful bandwagon that would be quick to bash who I have become today, and who I realized I always have been; a proud transgender woman.

“To be or not to be?”. The question I and many other trans folks ask or had been asking themselves for years. “Should I come out? Should I transition?” Or even, “will I even survive this where I am at in my life? “Where do I fit in the gender spectrum?” Circumstances make everyone’s story vary from the one person to the next. For some it’s work or family, financial or relationship, social or morality. I find in most cases that we all have to run, dodge and bite the bullets coming at us on all fronts.

I made up my mind. In November 2014 I began HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy)….To fully transion. I kept pushing in life, going to school and working as a woman under the name I had chosen for myself some years ago, “Nina”. Changing daily routines like bathrooms and reminding people of my preferred pronouns and coming across hateful people in and out of my inner circles was a challenge. But a challenge I gladly faced.

If I can give hope to anybody struggling with these issues I must say that it’s been an amazing journey ever since. I was anew, like being reborn it was surely a fresh start. Today I can honestly say it was one, if not the best decision I have ever made. Obstacles come and go but living my truth, my destiny.

…. Priceless.

Nina Vestergaard