The toy box in my bedroom. A short story. – Nina

Once upon a time, perhaps in another dimension of sorts. Or perhaps an altered reality ( a parallel to the norm which had been departed ). There was a world… it was a dark world like our own although the visions and communications to the mind lay shrouded in an unknown; as to wake up drunk in an amusement park in an abandoned ghost town. All those who enter this realm are intoxicated… euphoric… Or confused.

In this place the laws of physics are often bent, finding oneself transporting from one place to the next. Perhaps flying over the maps of which the reality created unto itself. It is itself; a living and growing place. It’s a place you’ve never been, but you have, faces you’ve never seen but it’s as though a permanent dejavu. Traveling along to its ominous melody.

I find myself in this place often. I climb under the barbed wire and war torn trenches just to see how deep this rabbit hole goes, the blood and destroyed homes visions of viciously broken families. Different tribes that dwell in this place and different spirits.

I’ve seen myself touched by the souls of the dead, although strangling me and taking my breath… killing me, I and only I entrusted with Devine powers to to speak amongst the spiritual realm…and flying across an infinite ocean. I wish I could go back to those times in this place.

This is a violent place, mostly deserted  I have been killed, I’ve killed, had sex many times. I’ve been killed many times in this place and seen life simply placed back into my chest. Leaving me unsure if death is real. There is no contemplation here, too much fog for one to adress mathematics once arrived.

I found myself in horrific post war slums, a child with no parents… There was a mattress and toy box. I’m around 5 years old. As the box opens…I’m not sure exactly what these toys, these memories, they see me, they all see me. You see it was me in the the box. Everything I’ve ever known. In this box. In this place.

When one finds themselves in this place… it can be dangerous. To see light amidst the fog, is… blinding enlightenment, a simple light; it’s as though the heart you use in this place stops beating but… There is no heart. You are always …Gone or missing… One thing is for sure, you are very much: alone.

Of course there is a way out, isn’t there? I think as you are reading this you might be beginning to understand. The subconscious; the infinite abstract of emptiness in form. Not simply the universe seeing itself. Not simply an imaginary delusion of grandiose proportion. That little voice sketched in your head… that lingering feeling in the back of your mind….

Nina… it’s time to wake up…

 

 

Aimless Love – By Nina Yin

Pondering the wonder; I gaze upon the stars.

When the morning arises

Sit atop the boulder in the meandering river, it ripples so heavenly

Then we hop in the whip. Drive aimlessly

On top of the hills now… and city lights ignite and flicker

My lovers eyes an oceanic blue in perfect harmony with mine

Musical vibrations tantalising my soul while the world simply passes by

Time is in its glory

I’m in an infinite moment, silent and still,

My imagination

My reality

And my love.

The art of finding oneself. – Nina

More often than not we are told how to live, right?

Take a minute to evaluate.

Starting off in a classroom for years and even decades on end, you sit, sit to learn; Christopher Columbus discovered America and how to find the square route of random numbers. Sigh*

Did human evolution naturally incline us to spend our most important years of growth in a chair? I think not…….

We graduate, we’ve learned how to follow orders and build bridges for our employers… laws of the land; creating barriers physically and financially more and more as life progresses. The idea of a 9-5 and a white picket fence and 3 kids. Even if it is graspable for the lucky few, we struggle to move forward.

“Did you stop, stop to reevaluate the ingrained ideology placed upon you?”.

Individuality is becoming farther and farther less prevalent as we strive to get the same jobs, same cars, computers and apparel… We want to be beautiful or successful financially in essence… bombarding us in advertisements and corporate agenda.

Some say in order to find oneself, one must lose themself; similarly in religions in the aspect of being “reborn,”. Every day we wake up from a subconscious state, back into the conscious reality. Every day is a chance to be reborn.

What I am trying to portray is that “change” is this key. To Lose yourself… be reborn…

It all starts with you. As much as the daily routine brings you comfort it can also be your prison.

Escape it.

Fear not what change may bring unto you.

“Imagine”.

Who you are and where you can be. Erase all fear they have instilled inside your heart.

Be free.

Keystyle Poetry. – Nina

I scheme on my demons till they no longer breathing

Need reason/ feasible distinctions of my seasons

Changes, rearrange fate / state of believing in me…

Myself n I’m a conqueror / author of my own book/ a star of sorts

Attracted to acrobatic tactics, it gets drastic

Jungle ninja coming into… An eclipse/ in Egypt

Over the pyramids; here it is / a moment to revisit.

 

Note to self. – Nina

Don’t feel so down, you are an inspiration

You’ve got a gift with inclinations

Your a beautiful soul with permanent growth

You extend a hand up and always woman or man up

To any situation…

It’s your world beautiful

You can be free anytime, cause freedom is in here

In your heart, depart to anywhere

You love and are loved, that’s a fact

Don’t feel alone when you’re intact and attached to love

Just relax…

 

When Dreams and Reality Mix – Nina Yin Slam Poetry

 

When dreams and reality mix; my mind twist space n time.

Sentences in my mind incomplete and jumbled.

The pain is unbearable and I can’t focus.

The thought train is overwhelming grandiose negative paranoia.

I lose track of myself and memories begin to be erased.

Chase down 3 seconds of comfort; only refuge from this place.

Alone with my screaming demons, what is the reason.

Enhanced senses, feeling too much and too deeply.

Dreading the next breath I’m light headed.

Subconscious embedded schizophrenic essence.

Tears run down my face, my lover can’t help be afraid.

Interlaced emotions continue to confuse, I’ve lost my view.

Distrusting earth, corrupting everything I’ve seen from birth.

There’s nowhere to run or hide. I continue to gun this fight.

I’m a soldier fuck this shit. I’ve done this shit a hundred times.

Switch my mindstate from afraid to irate.

I’m right the world is Fucked Up…

I’d Love to make it better tomorrow just weather this storm.

This isn’t even real, what I feel; it’s chemical sorrow.

What good is a good day without bad ones. I’m attached to this aura.

I’m glad I can come out on top….

I was trapped and caught up….

Strapped to a mattress and shot up…

 

Nina