All posts by goodnightnina

Transgender Artist and Producer Vancouver Canada Ninavestergaard26@gmail.com http://www.youtube.com/innashademusic http://www.ninayinartcollection.WordPress.com My name is Nina Yin Vestergaard / Nina Shade , 27 year old transgender female from Vancouver Canada. Currently doing art / studying full time. I try to indulge in as many art forms as possible. Connect with me!

Time is the beautiful now. – Nina

Time is beautiful

As it has the power to reveal

The power to heal

Time you can feel

Time isn’t always so real

As time can lock you up

or set you free

Each moment;

Opportunity!

 

Each moment only once; it is precious

Calm or restless…

A fleeting escape

Alive or un-awake

Somethings are timeless And Others are past their time

Or before their time…

 

It is affected by gravitational pull

Like the moon

Sun

Stars…

 

Time is soon and later and now

It was before And it was before before

Playing in the time

Until we are given no more

But this is natural so don’t be afraid of time;

Stretching or… running out

I don’t need a watch to know

that;

The time is now.

 

Nina

 

 

 

Waking Up at 3 Am. About me & Journaling

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Melancholy mood as I wonder why I get up so early, I was in a deep and dreamy sleep. I’m happy to be up and alive but… Dysphoria has come back into my life lately which is very odd for me. For those who don’t know “dysphoria” it is basically meaning I’m not seeing the girl I usually see in the mirror. It’s like, not recognizing her. That’s not me… it’s dysphoria about gender. And it’s painful. Counting my burdens and my blessings.

My moods are slowly stabilizing since I’m back on my anxiety meditation as of two days ago which is great but I’m still not feeling 100%. I wish it were as simple as simply snapping out of a negative mind state or taking a pill, but that’s rarely the case for people with mood disorders and anxiety such as myself. Plus the dysphoria thing… Don’t get me wrong, I was happy for the most part yesterday and this morning but there’s a swing of moods that I can’t dodge forever.

I’m hoping to conquer these issues one way or another and one step at a time. I’m still sober, around 90 days, I’m not having problems budgeting my money and I’m almost finished my probational period for the graffiti charges following me for the last year and a half. I have an amazing partner who’s helping me with all of this and encouraging me to channel my creativity. Also rebuilding a relationship with my family as I wasn’t the easiest child; having bipolar disorder and substance issues, my family are happy to see me doing so well in these aspects.

Thinking of buying a new laptop soon because I’m a very creative, visual and musical soul. This tablet just isn’t cutting it.

Much love:

Nina

Zen and Breathing. via BalanceInMe.com

Changing Yourself Through Your Breath

Deep breathing has been used to prepare for meditation since the beginning of human civilization. In the Hindu tradition, this practice was called pranayama and was used by yogis to improve their health and prepare for meditation.

My teacher used to say that “Your breath is your power”. And when you see someone full of energy and vitality, you’re seeing someone who understands the power of deep breathing.

My friend Diana shows you a style of meditation that uses a powerful deep breathing technique on this page (click here to check it out).

When you use a proper breathing technique, it will trigger natural and automatic movements which will relieve the tension that you have accumulated in your body. This will allow you to be far more mindful and will train your body to be effortlessly mindful in day to day life.

That’s why my teacher was right to place so much importance on deep breathing.

And it’s also why you should check out this style of meditation.

Keep meditating!

Good times with my girl. A Nina update.

Today was amazing. Not even having a giant thorn surgically removed from my back brought me down… The morning was chill.

Just with my girl in the morning was nice, she took her time to wake up while I blogged and read other blog posts. I cuddled with her for a while just hoping she’d get up and it worked.

We eventually decided to go shoot some hoops at the park.

Hahaha

About 30 minutes in I run to go grab the ball… tripping slightly on my heel I fell into some thorns. Okay A LOT of thorns. I’m kind of bloody right… I thought it was all good despite the intense pain and quickly finished the game and rolled home.

I went to the mirror and turned around to see my back and what do you fucking know…. A large piece of thorn was like…. pushing the skin out on my back. I thought shit… how the fuck am I gon get this wood outta my back…it looked nasty! my girl was far too squeamish to go surgical style on this nasty looking situation. That made her a little upset but…

She drove me to a clinic and it was so deep into my back muscle they said they were going to just leave me a little cut open and come back in a few days to remove it. So uhhhhhhh I was thinking and quickly convinced this doctor to do whatever it takes… necessary…to get it out . Like: immediately.

Anesthetic worked fine and she pulled it out. Tetanus shot. Bandaid n…

I’m home and it’s all good.

Good day.

– Nina. 🙂

About : Guan Yin / Kwan Yin . Goddess of Compassion. Bodhisattva.

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In Chinese Buddhism, Guan Yin is synonymous with the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the pinnacle of mercy, compassion, kindness and love.
(Bodhisattva- being of bodhi or enlightenment, one who has earned to leave the world of suffering and is destined to become a Buddha, but has forgone the bliss of nirvana with a vow to save all children of god.
Avalojkitesvara (Sanskrit: अवलोकितेश्वर): The word ‘avalokita’ means “seeing or gazing down” and ‘Êvara’ means “lord” in Sanskrit).

Guan Yin, 观音, or Avalokiteśvara is one of the most popular and well known female goddess in Asia and probably in the world. Guan Yin is the Bodhisattva of Great Compassion in Mahayana Buddhism.

By the Song dynasty, Guan Yin evolved into a female bodhisattva in white robes that we see today. The male Guan Yin continues to be depicted albeit less frequently. The bodhisattva’s gender is unproblematic to devotees as Guan Yin will manifest in any form to reach out or to help suffering beings.

The bodhisatva introduced into China via the Silk Road and initially, Guan Yin was presented in male form. As Buddhism became localized in China, Guan Yin was sinicised and subsequently transformed into Chinese female form.

Many names were used ; Guan Shi Yin, hearer of all sufferings, was a more popular version. When the second Tang Emperor Li Shi Min, ascended the throne, Guan Shi Yin was “renamed” as Guan Yin due to the Chinese custom of avoiding characters similar to an emperor’s name; Shi in this case.

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Guan Yin is also manifested as the multiple or the most common thousand arm Guan Yin, a symbol of her aspiration to reach out to any being in any form to help them.

She appears in the Book of Lie Zi as a Taoist sage, but it is unclear if this refers to the Kuan Yin later venerated as a bodhisattva.

In China, it is said that fishermen used to pray to her to ensure safe voyages. The titles ‘Kuan Yin of the Southern Ocean’ and ‘Kuan Yin (of/on) the Island’ stem from this tradition.

Another story, possibly Taoist in origin, describes Kuan Yin as the daughter of a cruel father who wanted her to marry a wealthy but uncaring man. She begged to be able to enter a temple and become a nun instead. Her father allowed her to work in the temple, but asked the monks to give her very hard chores in order to discourage her.

The monks forced Kuan Yin to work all day and all night, while others slept, in order to finish her work. However, she was such a good person that the animals living around the temple began to help her with her chores. Her father, seeing this, became so frustrated that he attempted to burn down the temple. Kuan Yin put out the fire with her bare hands and suffered no burns. Now struck with fear, her father ordered her to be put to death. After she died she was made into a goddess for all of her kindness and began her journey to heaven. She was about to cross over into heaven when she heard a cry of suffering back on earth. She asked to be sent back and vowed to stay until all suffering had ended.